Kevin Smith has completely baked himself out of his mind taking several genres, obscure outdated references, in jokes from his podcasts, celebrity nerd cameos and his need to tell a "children's" movie and rolled up a giant joint for the world to smoke and as weird and at times completely unbalanced it is I kind of loved it. Yoga Hosers comes from a proud father who loved directing his daughter and her best friend, who is like a second daughter to him, and decided to make a film about their friendship that could resonate to other young female audience members that don't have figures like this to look up to. It also comes from his combined desire to put Johnny Depp in a dick nosed rubber mask and make a ridiculous Roger Corman/Lloyd Kauffman produced Joe Dante movie. Think Troma toned down for teens. It's eighties beyond belief which can hurt or help the movie in several ways. 
Running the local Winnipeg convenience store, Eh-2-Zed, are best friends Colleen C and Colleen M. They are local heroes in helping legendary manhunter Guy Lapointe track down the Manitoba Manitee who was turned from man to Walrus. Thing is they don't care, especially since a manitee and walrus are two different things! They'd rather spend their time rocking out in their band Glamthrax, practicing their Yoga techniques with their mentor Yogi Bayer, Instagraming their survival of the lands of Canada and getting invited to big time senior parties. Unbeknownst to them lurking under their convenience store is a seventy year old Nazi scientist who has frozen himself for a hundred years with his miniature army of cloned Nazi soldiers made of bratwurst until they are ready to take over Canada and invade America, but unfortunately for him the Colleen's band Glamthrax have rocked too hard and awoken him to wreak a terrible vengeance upon Winnipeg as his tiny terrors invade their prey through people's rectums! It's up to the Colleen's to use all their Yoga training to combat the Bratzi's and the Nazi scientist's greatest weapon before it goes on a killing spree! 
If you are still on board with this after that description then you'll probably enjoy this movie. It takes a lot of really weird turns but moves pretty quickly once the action gets going. We got high school comedy which goes into horror movie and then becomes something I can't even really describe honestly but the ending answers my plea for eighties cheese cinema to come back as this is as cheesy fun as it gets, like eating damn nachos. Kevin does a really good job setting up the girls in fun ways especially in their introduction with their rendition of Anthrax's I'm the Man. Harley Quinn Smith and Lily Rose Depp are really fun to watch interact with each other and there's some fun montages of them BFFing like straight up goobers that you can't help but giggle at. The funniest thing though is the first chunk of the movie is female Clerks. They treat the customers like dumbasses, they're constantly closing up the shop and putting up signs about their lady problems or taking dumps with little hearts to make it cute and okay which are always pretty damn funny and are even given some of the famous clerks lines. While Kevin plays up the fact that they are teenage girls in 2016 that can't live without their phones or Instagraming their lives, for me it got a little tedious. I understand that it is supposed to fit the idea of teenagers today but it felt a little too on the nose at times and made the beginning a little bit boring when he relied too much on the their phones are an extension of their hands jokes. When they just act like best friends is when they are the most fun especially when they sing together it's just really excellent chemistry. Those moments are the most heart filled and true to what I feel Kevin set out to do with making this movie for kids his daughter's age. These moments remind you how excellent of a people person kind of director Kevin is and how well he is at capturing people's relationships on film.
The really weird juxtaposition is this movie is about teenage girls in 2016, it's rated PG-13 so teens can watch it, the dialogue has a catchy young rhythm to it but there are so many old school jokes or in jokes I feel like the target audience will be really lost. They reference Anthrax, Stan Lee, the 90's Batman animated series, Sylvester Stalone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Al Pacino, Strange Brew and Ed Wynn for god sakes! While all of these jokes hit me and made me laugh hysterically I pondered what anyone around the Colleen's age would think of these jokes. It's a weird imbalance because half the jokes are for the tween audience and the other half I guess are for the Kevin Smith fans especially fans of his podcasts. 
Tusk is to Smodcast as Yoga Hosers is to Hollywood Babble On. Almost every in joke in this film is exclusively from Hollywood Babble On. I being a huge fan of the podcast loved every moment the villains were on screen because they are direct pulls from that podcast. The Bratzi's are designed and made up by Robert Kurtzman, makeup FX extraordinaire from just about every 80's monster movie you've seen. Under the makeup of the Bratzi is Kevin Smith himself channeling his German accent from the comedy segment of Ruteger and Klaus that he does with Ralph Garman on HOB. It's so blatantly bad and cute that I could not stop laughing every time I saw little sausage Kevin on screen with his terrible German accent. The Bratzi's climb through people's rectums and out their mouth, killing them while screaming, "wunderbar!" My favorite scene in the whole film has to be when the Colleen's use their Yoga skills to basically massacre the Bratzi's as they scream random German phrases. My only gripe is while the makeup FX are really solid the CGI used as the sauerkraut blood and for when the Bratzi's kill people is sci-if channel original movie bad CGI. I loves me some Kurtzman and just wished he had done all the fx practically for the film. Ralph Garman, the other half of Hollywood Babble On, is pretty much my hero so I may be biased in this review but I couldn't stop laughing at every moment he was on screen. His malicious German accent channeling his story of how he was a failed artist who was told by critics that his work was trash, kind of shows a bit of art reflecting life through Kevin as in the movie Ralph's character, Arcane created his monsters to kill all the critics. He also in his spare time watched everything he could find on Netflix while eating Pucky Charms and has become a cinema geek. This gives Garman a chance to do every impersonation he's ever tried in front of Kevin from Adam West to Al Pacino and the girls look at him clueless as to who he is supposed to be. If you've never seen the podcast you'll probably be lost but I loved every minute of Garman in the screen. 
This movie is a complete and total mess that serves up as an awesome experience if you just turn off your brain and let it weird you out in every way possible. The ending fight scene is really strange because I feel like Kevin Smith can't really direct action but the set up for the ending action scene is such an homage to the Adam West Batman series that it seems like it was set up to be that badly blocked. It's just really weird as an ending to the film you have just watched but it's still really fun. We got all our actors from Tusk back in stranger and far more Canadian ways and of course Guy Lapointe returns in his eccentric awkwardness but far less than last time we saw him. You'll also be walking away with a lot of quotable lines such as, "Yoga Fett" "We're Canadian Satanists so we're less touchy." and you'll probably be calling all your friends, "basic" by the end of the movie. You'll also learn that Canadian satanists think the states are metal. It's not a perfect movie but damn is it stupid fun. Three Bratzi's and a severed half out of five.
